Thirty four
My annual reintroduction
*Reminder that I personally voice record every post I share, so if you ever want me to read it to you, you can listen via the recording above! ❤️
A few months ago I was sitting on the beach with some friends, and one had her daughter (who was about 10 months old) with her. She was sharing some of her daughter’s latest developments, and I made a comment about how beautiful and fun it is to watch a baby grow in those early years because they are changing so much so often. The baby’s grandmother, a vibrant elder in our community, turned to me and said, “We change that much and that often too, we just don’t pay as much attention to it.” To which I replied, touché.
I agree – and this birthday tradition was born of that sentiment!
If you’ve been here a while, you might recall that I have a tradition where I reintroduce myself on my birthday each year.
This was originally inspired by thinking about how when you are first getting to know someone, such as a new friend or a romantic interest, you approach the relationship with curiosity; the understanding that there is much to learn and receive, and you are getting to know them. But oftentimes, somewhere along the way that begins to shift. You get to a point where you have a pre-existing story of who they are, and that gets carried forward. This is natural of course, but it can hold you back from seeing and receiving the present moment version of who someone is.
In light of this, I decided that I wanted to write a brief reintroduction each year on my birthday to document and honor the present version of myself at this point in time. This practice is something I do mostly for myself, but I’m sharing it here for anyone else who wants to hear and receive it.
So, here is how I introduce myself today, on the 34th anniversary of my arrival on planet earth to play human (again, probably).
Hi!!! I’m Tara.
I’m not sure where to begin so I’m just going to start saying things and it will all come into view as we go :) I trust you can follow my flow.
The most present thing that I feel right now is FREE. I feel like I’m in this beautiful dance of receiving the present moment as it occurs to me and through me. I am existing so authentically, with so much trust, so much joy, and so much less energy leakage.
I’m just experiencing myself and living out my evolving truth, and I want to support everyone else in my life to do the same. I just want to show up to each moment and interaction as the embodiment of love. Really recognizing the extent to which I truly mean that and live that everyday, makes me giddy. I am so liberated!! And everyone in my life is liberated!! Is this heaven? Is this enlightenment? Lol, it feels like a cheat code to life, making things simultaneously playful and peaceful. I’ve got me and God’s got me. There’s no pressure and nothing is personal.
I am “trying” the least I ever have in my life. The idea that there is nothing to get “right” has really integrated for me. I’m honestly having fun seeing what comes through me. I’m doing the work to maintain a clear channel so whatever that is, I trust is coming in as the frequency of love. And somehow the less I try, the more wise and grounded I feel. It’s like all the spiritual lessons and personal growth ideas that I believed in and understood at a logical level have landed in my body in a way where I understand them soo much more deeply and fully, and can actually LIVE it. (Not that I didn’t before, it’s just so much more now).
A big piece of that is through having an even deeper embrace of my humanness. I accept and embrace my humanness at a level beyond what I could understand or do in the past. I have nothing to prove. There is nothing to prove! We’re all just making shit up and doing whatever we want, however we want – and also sometimes not doing what we want or intend but that’s also okay. I am so okay with being imperfect and learning and getting it wrong. Like I said before, there’s nothing to get right! I feel free to experiment and free to follow what flows and evolves over time.
This has allowed me to expand into my full embodiment so much more. I embrace my infiniteness with zest these days. I have fun letting different parts of myself have their moment, and I am more of each of them. More wild, more wise, more grounded, more trusting, more audacious, more peaceful, more emotional, more open, more boundaried, more direct, more playful, more sensual… just, more.
At the same time that I’ve never felt more human, I’ve also never felt more connected to the Divine. I’m learning these are one and the same to me. I don’t know how to explain some of this, but my best attempt is to say that the overlay of spirituality and humanness feels deeply intertwined and integrated for me these days. I think that’s the direction we’re moving as a collective too, honestly. For myself, I can say that my line of connection with my soul is stronger than ever. It’s beautiful and powerful, and I have become even more discerning of where I consume or consult outside of myself as I want to protect this channel of intuition. I have also developed a greater capacity to feel and translate energy. I am living in a new structure of reality where these layers and categories are coexisting and merging, separate yet inseparable, all one and the same. The human body is the bridge and coalescence meeting point of it all.
Outside of my devotion to the work that’s between me & God, my deepest desire is to be a village woman. To love and care for my community, and to do life together.
This reflects a shift that’s occurred within me over the past few years. I used to have big goals of influencing and serving the collective at a grand scale, but these days I feel most inspired and called to be focused on my inner circle community.
Sharing life with other people is probably my favorite thing about the human experience. Whether that be in a more casual way such as holding space for a friend, sharing meals, and simply being intimately interwoven into one another’s lives; or a more defined role such as curating spaces for intentional connection like serving tea or hosting coherence healings and other ceremonial gatherings, or serving as a birth and postpartum doula – I love it all. I want to pour into my people, and to receive their gifts and care as well. I love doing life with a village.
My most important roles in life are relational: friend, sister, wife, mother, daughter... (One time I wrote in my journal “Is it allowed to be my ‘calling’ to love people??” - I’ve decided basically yes).
I’m not technically a wife or mother yet at the 3D earth level, but at another level I’m already there too. I’m fully committed to my future family. In my birthday post two years ago, I wrote that I was on the runway to motherhood. Even though I’ve had a reroute, that still feels true – and actually, even more so. I’m not rushed, but I’m ready. I’m ready to play and co-create with my husband. I’m ready to carry and care for my children. I’m ready to have a family. I’m so excited to meet them all!!
It’s been beautiful to bring writing back into my life with a new level of devotion. (“Back” meaning back out of my journals and phone notes, because those never stop). I’m honestly not sure exactly what the ultimate goal is yet, but the instruction to prioritize it is clear. As is my internal feedback of just how nourishing and life-giving it is for me. I’m grateful to Substack for the space to share what wants to be given a voice through me lately.
The process of creation in general is feeling really present and important. Creation is literally the act of turning frequency into form. It’s one of the biggest ways that we raise the collective consciousness – bringing ideas to life. Whether anyone sees it or not, what we create and birth through us is meaningful and important. (Future post coming on this topic!!).
I love pouring into others so that they are more nourished and resourced to create their own magic and gifts through their own portals. One way I’ve been leaning into this is through curating beautiful and intentional spaces, both physically and energetically, for people to be held in beauty and love and care. Right now this is mostly happening on a small scale in my own home, which feels right for me. Serving my lil village! And someday, I will steward ‘āina on Kauai – tending to the land, growing fruit in harmony with the Earth, and providing a sanctuary for people to come connect with self and others.
I am more committed than ever to my vision. I understand it as God’s vision, experienced and channeled through me. To not give it my everything and try to bring it to life would be sacrilege, disrespectful to the unique essence and gifts that are coming through me for the purpose of this mission. AND, even if that’s not true (which I fully believe it is but hey, I could be wrong) then regardless, why would I not go after the most beautiful and magical life I can imagine? There’s no pressure because all I have to be is myself, but still, I am full-send on what I desire and what I want to bring to life – for myself, for my family, for my village, for the collective.
And I’m already living it. I’m on the path, I’m in the process, and the present moment is perfect. I’m excited for what’s coming, but I’m fully enjoying where I am right now.
Overall, I feel like “I get it” in a way I never have before. And I love it all even more. At the same time, this whole thing is still a big freaking mystery and thankfully that feels whimsical and fun and fascinating rather than terrifying and confusing.
I’m grateful as ever to be here. To get to be Tara Kemp the human. I love this girl. What a fucking blast. 34 years in the works and it all just keeps getting better.
If you’ve read this through, consider yourself officially introduced. It was fun sharing with you. Thanks for being here.
xo- Tara
PS - I loveee this practice. I believe it is so valuable even just for yourself, whether you share it or not. So feel free to take it and make it your own! Highly recommend 💞
And, if you get value from what I share here and want to give me a birthday present of supporting my work, you can become a paid subscriber 🩵 xo